Sometimes a breakup has nothing to do with the person you are with but rather with your own person.
Life is weird. Sometimes we fall in love with the most uninspired person in the world. Sometimes the cutest man in the universe takes over our soul, but something still doesn't work. Relationships end for a multitude of reasons other than money or someone who has gone wrong, sometimes it ends for no reason.
It's always hard to figure out whether to end it or not, but it's even harder to break up with someone in style, especially if there's still love. You can start by analyzing your relationship and life in general, because sometimes a breakup has nothing to do with the person you are with but rather with your own person.
Love is not always the problem and you may never know clearly if what you are doing is right, but if you are simply not happy in your relationship it is good to end it so as not to waste time. anyone. One thing is for sure: you should never be with someone just because you don't want to hurt them!
- Choose the right time and place
Avoid holidays and special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, baptisms or weddings as much as possible because you don't want your ex to remember you every time the opportunity arises. Statistics show that most students break up during the summer holidays, when everyone goes home, but for the rest of the world, Monday seems to be the best day.
Before that, make sure you want to end the relationship once and for all. Never break up with someone without being reconciled with the thought that you may not be reconciled. Even if you later change your mind and reconcile, you may have already created an irreparable rupture. When you are sure that this is what you really want, you will have to choose a neutral place to give the news.
It would be best in a place where you do not make the other person feel bad, the more secluded the more appropriate, if it is not an aggressive nature, in which case surround yourself with people.
- Have courage and behave civilly
It would be nice to personally tell your partner that you want to break up, not through an intermediary, not on the phone and in no case by e-mail or a letter. You can get rid of the clean scarf when you use these methods only if the relationship is relatively new, but let's be serious, if you have already gone out on a few dates it is a bit unpleasant.
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Be prepared anyway, whatever you do and whatever you say, that the person feels attacked and does not want or can still be just a simple friend for you, at least at first. Even if you didn't have common plans, such as children, jobs, moving to another city, or buying a new home together, that doesn't mean you have to argue at the tent door. No matter how much you love someone, sometimes life will take you in different directions and having one last open discussion, face to face, is the most normal way to end a stage in life.
As painful as it is, an honest conversation can teach you something about yourself and help you set standards for the future. This also includes the fact that if during the relationship you hid some things from him for various reasons, now you have to be honest and say everything you have in mind. After that, you may be sad or even relieved, but both feelings are fine as long as things clear up and the person does not remain confused. If you try to save him at some point, things will turn against you and you will be considered a liar without honor.
- However, avoid being insensitive
Be honest, but put yourself in the other person's shoes. Nobody likes to be abandoned, but at least we all know how to appreciate the truth, if the truth is not the fact that the person you were sitting next to will not attract you, that you have met someone better or that you are just very bored of that relationship. . You have more to gain if you have a positive attitude and you will not highlight even the smallest flaws. So pay attention to the reasons why you broke up.
You need to decide if the relationship is really worth ending and think about your partner's future, but especially your personal future. Avoid staying in a relationship just because you are afraid to be alone. Be a little empathetic and imagine how your partner will see and feel if you stay with him just because of this. Behave with diplomacy, but don't avoid breaking up with someone just because you're afraid of hurting them.
- Leave space for “Hello! How are you? ”
For this you have to control your emotions. Try not to look very happy because of the breakup because you will look like witches who just took advantage of what was given to them. Be rather refined, caring and peaceful. If you live together you will have to decide who will stay in that apartment and who will move. If you expect your partner to move, you will need to give him time to find another apartment and put everything in order.
During this time you will have to ask your parents or close friends if you can stay with them for a few days, in order to have each the space they need in those delicate moments. If you do not live together, but see each other every day at work or school, it would be advisable to think if you can somehow change your job or at least the schedule, because no matter how close you were, situations like this are strange and difficult to get over. , no one knows how to behave exactly when on a narrow corridor you come across the former.
Some people do not know how to react to a breakup, feel ignored, useless or simply do not understand what is happening. Some scream or cry, others block their feelings, do not allow themselves to express themselves and display an impassive face and a cold attitude.
This does not mean that you should change your mind and react to their melting. Keep in mind that rejection hurts and you are already the one who gives the slippers.
If the situation takes a negative turn simply ignore what is happening. It is preferable to remain friends, but sometimes this is simply not possible, so do not wait to be made with egg and vinegar for nothing in the world. After expressing your point of view, try to stay calm and listen to what your partner has to say, if the language remains civilized.
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